Kim Tang

Personal Blog

WEEK 5: Activity – Counterfactual Identity

For this week’s activity, I dressed a bit more sporty. I didn’t put on any makeup, because it is too hot to wear and maintain throughout the day.

before & after HD

I felt a bit awkward walking through the school in my sporty outfit. Whenever I see someone I know, they would stare at me and gasp. I am too nerdy to be sporty… Haha.

When it was time for interviewing, I asked my friends about what they thought about me. I was surprised that some said I look like a tomboy with long hair. Due to my square jawline and backward cap, I do look like a tomboy!

Some people also said I look like a hip hop dancer because of the clothing and my height. Not to say that hip hop dancers are short, but their baggy clothing gave an illusion of short legs and longer upper body. I am already short, and so I don’t need baggy clothing to show off my short legs.

After a day of “trolling” my friends, I found that it is very difficult to be someone that you’re not. I rather be myself and wear the clothes that I feel more comfortable with. I am not going to lie that when I was little, I have tried to copy my cousin’s style. At the time, my cousin was a sporty girl who wears colorful clothing. I found her to be the cool and amazing. I would ask my mother to buy me the same clothing as her and music CDs from her favorite artists. However, there was a time she told me to stop copying her. She hurt my feelings and from there, I don’t hang out with her as often as before. There were times when my family would come over to her house for parties and I would just avoid communicating with her.

One year later, she told me that I may copy her as much as I wanted and she wouldn’t mind. At that moment, I should be happy. But no. Deep down inside, I laughed: “Who does she think she is? I don’t need her permission to buy the clothes she wears and listen to the music she likes.”

In reality, there was never a time when I feel satisfied trying to be like her. I felt like I was just her tail all these times. I don’t need her. Her clothes were too expensive for my family to purchase and they don’t worth the money that my mother worked hard for. Now that I think about it, I never liked her music because she didn’t have her own tastes herself. She just listened to the current top Billboard songs and nothing different. She simply liked what 90% of the teenagers at her age like and nothing of her own. I don’t need to follow someone like that. I might be “lame” with my cheap clothing and “uninteresting” Vietnamese ballad musics, but that is ME. I have my own taste of clothing and musics. I don’t need to spend my parents’ money on water parks and amusement parks to have fun. I rather stay at home, eating my parent’s special dishes; help them in the garden; or go into my room to read my favorite Vietnamese author’s book and or start a new art project with polymer clays! That is what I called FUN!

However, thanks to my cousin, I was able to realize that I am an individual who have her own personalities and interests. I have my own conscious mind and I am different!

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This entry was posted on September 27, 2014 by in ART 110 and tagged , , , , , , .
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